Nadia Angelini is an intuitive life coach who has been helping private clients since 2005. Nadia’s practice, Intuition by Nadia, helps individuals promote personal growth and empowerment by addressing both personal and professional obstacles. Nadia sits down with Chris Snyder to discuss how entrepreneurs can address and overcome mental blocks for continued professional growth.
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[00:00:44] Hello, everyone, Chris Snyder here, host of the Snyder Showdown, president at Juhll Agency, and founder of Financial Services Platform Banks.com. On this show, we take a no B.S. approach to business success and failure, told through the stories of the top entrepreneurs and executives who have lived them. Join us today as we get the unfiltered backstories behind successful brands. Today's show is sponsored by Banks.com, the world's most comprehensive and trusted branding and discovery platform for banks and banking related products. Banks.com is aligning consumer core values with trusted financial institutions, bringing attention and awareness to leading financial brands. To learn more, you can go to banks, dot com forward slash partners, or you can send an email to info at Banks.com. OK, without further ado, today's guest is Nadia Angelini. She's an intuitive life coach who has been helping private clients since 2005. Nadia's practice - Intuition by Nadia - helps individuals promote personal growth and empowerment by addressing both personal and professional obstacles. Nadia is here today to show us how entrepreneurs can address and overcome mental blocks for continued professional growth. Welcome, Nadia.
[00:02:04] Hi, Chris. So excited to be here.
[00:02:06] I'm excited to have you here. We've had a couple life coaches and professional coaches on, but your approach, I think is is far more differentiated. And I am really curious to have this conversation today to learn more. Well, before we kick that off, can you tell us a little bit about yourself, where you grew up and how you got to where you are today?
[00:02:28] Sure, sure. So I'm actually a California native of Southern California. My mom is Italian from Italy and my dad was from Germany. And they met out here. And, you know, I grew up basically with this sort of. Three languages in the house. All this things, so as a child, you don't realize your energy based, you're not listening to words, you're listening to the way people's field to the vibe in the room. And I think for me, that just was expanded due to the languages and the scope of where my family was at. And growing up, you know, my dad left when I was young. I had a lot of it. There was drugs and alcohol in the house. There was a lot of trauma as a child. And again, those are the things that shape you as a person now. And being a highly sensitive child, probably around three. My mom started telling me that I would be able to tell when people were lying. And what that meant was. People were not congruent with their words and their energy.
[00:03:25] And I think we all can understand that. It's like the classic husband asking the wife how she feels. And she's like, I'm fine. And you're like, yeah, you're not fine. Like you're saying you're fine. You're not fine. But then the eye roll, right? Exactly. And we all experienced this.
[00:03:41] I think I was hyper sensitive to that of the congruency and someone's energy field and. As I grew up in California, I obviously grew up in a sort of spiritual environment. My mom was a hippie. She was very open. So I was raised with a single mom and my.
[00:03:58] You're talking like, oh, high or low.
[00:04:01] You're like that. Okay. In Santa Monica. OK.
[00:04:05] I went to a very progressive high school crossroads, which was you call the teachers by their first name.
[00:04:11] It's all about like be you, whoever you want to be. So I did have this sort of support to be whoever I needed to be. Their mission, which was a big gift. Yeah.
[00:04:22] You know, it's funny you should say that you called your teacher by your first name. My wife. Our wondering yesterday, because our kids are gonna go to school. We're like, do we say Mrs. So-and-so?
[00:04:31] Yeah. It's all about our first name. Yes. But it was this sense of equality. Yeah.
[00:04:37] And that your voice mattered. As a student and I think, you know, more importantly for me, it was about growing up in sort of an impact. My mom would bring psychic's to my ninth birthday party. You know, my mom was very into healers and reiki and organic. Before it was hip. And she was very supportive because I would just know things randomly. I would just be tired of it. I don't know why. I just know this. And then it would happen.
[00:05:03] The biggest, you know, factor that sort of was a big thing for me is my grandfather, who basically was my father growing up, passed away, and the whole family was in Italy for the funeral. And I was riding my bike. And I just remember feeling really sad and really depressed. I was 12 years old and a car hit me going thirty seven miles per hour. My God. It was a blue Mercedes on San Gisenyi for those of you that know the Santa Monica Brentwood area.
[00:05:31] And I hit the windshield, bounce off the bumper, flew over the car, landed on my head and my shoulder. And for those of you, I'm an age myself in nineteen eighty nine. No one wear helmets.
[00:05:40] People know there are no helmets in nineteen eighty nine but even bit on a banana seat, right. Oh yeah.
[00:05:45] I don't know but I, we went to the hospital and I did the MRI and the CAT scans and all of this and this was the defining moment in my life where I knew there was something else that other people can see, you know, and I I woke up out of this sort of coma and the doctor came in and he said, you know, I've never seen anything like this, but you can walk out of here. You don't have a bruise on your body. He goes, oh, my.
[00:06:09] Dented the car. Your leg should have shattered. The windshield was shattered. It was a blue navy, blue Mercedes.
[00:06:17] And he said, I can't explain this, but you can walk out here. And I walked out and we went home and there was a message on my machine from my grandmother saying that my uncle, who was also intuitive in Italian, by the way, said that my grandfather came to him in a dream and said that Nodi is going to be in an accident, but not to worry because he's going to carry her on his shoulders and that she'll be OK.
[00:06:41] This all happened in the same day, all the same day.
[00:06:43] I was twelve years old. Oh, gosh. And that moment, my mom and I were sitting there.
[00:06:48] I still get still brings me tears to tell the truth, because he was like I was clearly supposed to be here like that was that. Yeah. And then years later, I had the memory. The memory came back to me, which is classic with a concussion where I actually left my body and had that whole thing. I mean, it sounds out of out of your mind. But when people have these similar experiences and for me it was like, oh, there is a whole mass of stuff out here that we can't see here. It doesn't mean it's not real. It's like gravity. You can't see gravity, but you're still sticking to the ground whether you believe in gravity or not, you know what I mean? So that's kind of what shaped me was that defining moment at twelve that changed the trajectory for me.
[00:07:29] Well, it's you know, what's interesting about that is I feel like we all avoid critical collisions, whether emotionally or physically or mentally or whatever, throughout the course of our entire life. You just happen to have a real one. Yeah. And it it worked out. And it starts to shape and form your perspective, which most of us I mean, it might seem odd to say this, but most of us don't have the privilege of having almost a near-death experience to almost motivate us into knowing that, like, hello, wake up, look look at what you have, because it could be over.
[00:08:10] And more than that, it made me realize I had a lot of issues going on at 12 from my younger years. And so I did. I went to therapy. I went to Allen on, you know, those of you that don't know, it's for family members of alcoholics and. When I was in my 20s, I started to realize my cat, you know, like I would go into therapy and this is going to sound horrible, but I'd be like, yeah, no shit. Excuse my language.
[00:08:33] I'm like, obvious. I was like 15. I'm like, really? You call yourself a therapist. Like, this is so obvious to me. Like so clear. And I'm 15 years old. Maybe the therapist needs someone to talk to. Nadia. Well, you know, most therapists have issues. They get into therapy cause they you know, for me, I got into this because I knew there had to be a way to not let your childhood trauma run you.
[00:08:56] Yeah. What? I knew there had to be away. And so that's what kind of motivated me. And in my 20s is when it started to take off. I was a musician and an actress in my early days. And I was in this acting class and I met this woman, Dee Wallace, the mom from E.T., from Kujo, those who know her. She's a good friend.
[00:09:18] She's into self-help and healing work and all this. And so in our acting classes, she's like, if you don't know yourself, you cannot play another person. It was this. And I was like, yes, of course, you have to understand basic human psychology to be able to play somebody. Yeah. You know, with any depth we're feeling. And people would get on stage and I would just start knowing things about them, like they would get on and I would look at them. And because I was in a state of sort of non resistance, I would receive in I'm like, when you were twelve, there's something around your dad with this room. And and I would just start getting images in my mind. And through this time in my ear, I was probably twenty three people because it was a safe environment. They would start confirming I'd be like, Oh, I'm right about this. And during this time when I tell you I was a crazy person, I was like in line at Trader Joe's and I would get images and I'd be like, excuse me, I'm so sorry to bother you, but I'm getting this image. And I would share it with strangers because it was so intense for me. I had to know if I was right or if I was out of my mind.
[00:10:16] So is this when you first started kind of realizing that you might have a gift of understanding deeper things in the world than other people?
[00:10:26] Well, I look at it as the way I call it is reading energy. We all need energy. I look at it like being an NBA player. So we all can come in and play sports. But some of us are a little more predisposed and other people are. Everybody reads energy. And this is the part that I think for your listeners, it's really important. When someone walks in a room, you get a feeling, you get a gut response, whether it's for an interview, whether it's your interviewing, whether it's a friend of or your wife or anything. Now, I got a feeling and that feeling is information. Most of us ignore that and go to being appropriate and go to our mind and go to social norms instead of listening to feeling. And for me, that feeling voice, the volume was turned up much louder.
[00:11:10] Well, you know what's interesting about that? I think we've been trained to stay on the track. Mean at a very young age, you you get placed into school systems. Apparently, years wasn't the same. But when you have those thoughts in your middle class, you can't blurt stuff out. You know, it's appropriate to ask people these kinds of questions. You know, there's, you know, I guess new evidence and things that are starting to surface about, you know, quote unquote, aliens and energy sources. Or it would be naive for anyone to think that there isn't something a lot deeper with certain human beings and certain lifeforms out there that sure influence us daily. It it doesn't mean that anyone smarter, more IQ or any it just means they're different.
[00:11:59] Really, that's what it means for me if we all come in with different talents and gifts and whatever that may be. And I do believe that every single person on the planet has the same gift that I do. We're just not taught as children to build that muscle. You're born with that muscle. Watch the little ones. Now watch how they will scan a room and pick the person that is the safe person or pick the person that will be open to them. They are Kohn's. We are born energy readers and we get trained out of that as adults. And so what I'm trying to say is if you look at people, I always use this example because I think it's brilliant. The Wright brothers. OK. Yeah. Invented the plane. That's a batshit crazy idea.
[00:12:44] Yeah. At that time. Yeah. Let me jump off a cliff. Right. Wings in hope that I don't. Exactly.
[00:12:50] But they had a vision and that came from something larger than them. And they had the passion and the belief in themselves to follow that. And that's what being an entrepreneur is. It's seeing something that hasn't manifested yet. And believing in it. And those are the people that create magic. Because you have to have the vision. You can't see it and then believe it. You've got to believe it. And then you're going to see it.
[00:13:14] So these things started happening in. I mean, I'm going to tell you. L.A., Hollywood entertainment. It's I have a daughter, daughters, 10 years old. I am I would not. Candidly would not want her in that business. But when did you start to realize? By the way, I've nothing against that business. I just. I have a daughter and I see I hear things. And you guys watch.
[00:13:38] And I've been there. There's. Yeah, there's a metoo movement. Yes.
[00:13:42] And so I look at that stuff. And then I say, well, Nadia. I mean, you know, clearly, you know, you're doing well in that business. What made you realize that you wanted to not do that anymore and maybe you wanted to use this to help other people instead of. Sure. You know, an actress or being a musician or doing whatever you're doing?
[00:14:00] Well, I'm going to be really honest. I was always insecure. I was started doing music when I was seven. I had my first record deal at 13 years old. I was on Broadway when I was 17. So was mostly music for me. And then my manager was like, get in an acting class. It's gonna help your music. And all this insecurity from my childhood, not believing I was good enough. Never thinking that anything was at the level that I wanted it to be. Like I knew what great was. And I never really believed that I was it. And so what I started to see was, oh, I see why I'm not creating the life that I really want. Because I don't really believe in myself. And this is, again, with entrepreneurs and leaders. And it's this this battle between what's happening in the world and what's happening inside of you. And if you go to compare yourself to other people, you're always going to lose. You know, I was like, I'm not the prettiest one. I'm not that. I don't hit the highest notes.
[00:14:57] Whatever it was, I was like, why am I doing this? And this came from my wounding. This came from messages I got as a child that, you know, my dad left. He didn't love me. I wasn't good enough if I was getting these. So, like, preverbal these things are so. And so I realize I'm like, these are things that once you shine light on them, they don't have to run you anymore.
[00:15:18] And I realized, did you want to do that? Because it feels like, you know, I've been reading a lot about this stuff, people that have had success. And I think you've had a good dose of it. A lot of it. I think a lot of our guests have. I have. And you look at it, though, when you grow up like that, you actually when you get there, you kind of feel like an impostor. And there's actually a syndrome called imposter syndrome. Absolutely. They talk about it a lot. Yeah. So did you when you got there, did you feel like.
[00:15:46] Definitely. It's not like I'm drinking. Yeah. Like they really think I'm talented. I'm not.
[00:15:50] And what's funny is in this work, I never felt that because that was the change.
[00:15:56] It was like in this work do a helping people. I realized, like, wow, it isn't me. It's like this higher part of me takes over where was music or that sort of thing. It felt like me. I can't explain that. It's just like it was a different thing. So I kind of I decided I was gonna go back to school and get my marriage and family therapy degree.
[00:16:18] And I did you did you just say, I just don't like this. I don't like the way it makes me feel on successful at it, but I know I just don't like it, to be honest with you.
[00:16:27] I had a record deal and I toured and I don't want to go into the details, but I was sexually harassed and then I was like, I'm not working with this person anymore. And they sued me because I for breach of contract. And it was my word against theirs because it's very hard to prove sexual harassment. And then I was like, I'm done.
[00:16:47] This is not done. Yeah. This universe telling me, get out of good business to be in. And I still do music now.
[00:16:54] I'm writing music.
[00:16:55] I, I'm working on getting a TV and movies and TV shows as like a joy and fine as opposed to being like the front person. Yeah. And so then I decided to go back to school. That was when I decided I'm going to go back to school. I found this spiritual depth psychology program and it's basically mindfulness, self-awareness, teaching to suit, soothe anxiety and depression, those sort of things. But more than that, it gave me the confidence to do and I this sounds insane, but I literally went to school and I was like, wow, I already know all this. Like, this is just confirming what I intuitively just gets. I just get this, you know. Yeah. So when I went back to school, I was about to get my license. I did my three thousand hours and then I was like I told my husband, I'm like, I'm not going to get my license. He's like, Why? I said, Because I want to do my own thing.
[00:17:43] I want to do a combo of what I do and clinical psychology, because the combo is what I think works for me. So I know what works for me, for other people. So that's why I came to this.
[00:17:56] So three thousand hours, by the way, is a that's a long time with kids and couples and groups and. Yeah, yeah. That and that's wow. That's got to be three thousand people. Eye-opening to hear those stories too. And while you were going through that, did you feel like, wow, this is just I'm listening to all these maybe terrible stories or challenging stories and I don't know what's worse. The, you know, the singing and the dancing and the. Mean or the the the torn up families and the like, well, how did that feel going through all that?
[00:18:31] You know what it is, is that for me, the doing the hours is where I felt bound, because as a life coach, when you go to a life coach, it's because you really want to take action and make changes in your life when you go to a therapist. A lot of times you're bound by sort of rules and regulations, which is, I guess, that.
[00:18:53] Speak up in the way I would in a life coaching.
[00:18:56] Oh, OK. As a therapist, strategic to not put yourself under the rules of a system that you didn't believe empowered you to help people the way exactly. You wanted to help them. It's like Western medicine versus Eastern medicine, right?
[00:19:12] Correct. Exactly. And people I can't explain it.
[00:19:16] My superpower is that I can be empathetic and compassionate without going in the pit with somebody. Yeah, I can go.
[00:19:25] Wow. I see where you are. But I also see who you really are. So despite what's happening, I want to my always my intention is to empower people. The other reason I went into life coaching is I don't think you should go to therapy every week. I think you should learn to soothe yourself. I think you should learn and have tools so you can be your own healer and teacher and help others. I don't believe in the every week model. So that's another thing that's different. And what I do, I go, hey, here's things, Colby in 30 days. Let's see how you're doing.
[00:19:57] It's almost like a crutch. Right. And there's been a lot of talk about resilience, resiliency and self-reliance. And I think we would all like for our kids to be resilient and not always have to go have someone help them or protect them, and they just do it on their own. So, you know, medication. Do you believe in medication and those sorts of things? I don't.
[00:20:23] I don't. And I'll tell you why. I think for some cases there are always let me put it this way. There is always a path of least resistance and there are times if you've gotten a lot of resistance going and a lot of negative momentum. The path of least resistance is medication. There were children and teenagers. I'm pretty much adamantly against it. There are reasons because I'm going to use this term and it's going to be a new term. I'm going to use it. Your internal G.P.S., which was I would call your guidance system. You are born with it. I teach my five year old. I tell him, what is your inner voice say? And he will literally, since he's two. I've been telling him this and I have a two year old as well that I do this. My voice is telling me this. My voice is telling me this as if it's a third person. Yeah.
[00:21:09] And I think that kids that are depressed are anxious. There is a reason.
[00:21:15] And if you put a Band-Aid on top of that reason. What do I say? Don't worry. It will get bigger. Yeah. And once you're going to once you get off that medication, it's going to come back like a tsunami. So deal with the issue. I can't tell you how many 13 year olds I've talked to that are like, I just want to die. I want to kill myself in my care. I get that. And they're like, thank you for not criticizing me and criticize and just giving me permission.
[00:21:42] They feel that that that's normal and hormones and all these things. And really the reality is nine point nine percent out of nine point nine people out of ten, very low percentage of people ever really want to die. They just want to feel better.
[00:21:57] They generally relief from these are symptoms, I think, of a much larger problem. And I think we're overprescribed as a society. Definitely the use of some of these drugs, whether it be Xanax or you would know more than me any of these drugs. I don't I don't even take aspirin. I don't even have. Yeah.
[00:22:17] Well, I guess you're there's always here occasion. I feel like your emotions and your body is trying to communicate with you. And the way I put it is like any negative emotion or pain in the body is a form of resistance that's gathered momentum. So what that means is, let's say you're bullied at school or you feel insecure at school and you're not telling anybody and you're holding it in and then you start to feel depressed and then you start not wanting to go to school. And then there's something that started this momentum.
[00:22:51] And these are all symptoms. They they they manifest themselves as I don't really want to get up today. Why not? Because if I get up, then I go. Then I see people I don't want to see and they make me feel bad.
[00:23:03] I constantly am feeling afraid and most people are feeling afraid. And I was like, you know what? Freedom is not feeling afraid. That's freedom.
[00:23:11] And that's really what being a leader and a successful person requires is. Courage is what?
[00:23:22] Feeling the fear and doing it anyway, because the passion and the joy and the drive is bigger than the fear. And that's really what I want to inspire. Whether it's young people are older people, too, to realize that hopelessness is.
[00:23:37] Is it indicator of something? It's not a life sentence. It's an indicator. And if you treat it that way, it's like, OK. This is a symptom. Let's go deeper. What is this really about? Depression is usually about the past. Anxiety is usually fear for the future.
[00:23:53] Yeah, that's interesting. So we've talked about a different we've talked about a few different demographics, talked about kids. We've talked about the adults. We talked about your background. So do you do you consider yourself what an intuitive life coach then is artificially what it is? Because I know you're doing something different. You're doing something completely different.
[00:24:14] Yeah. So I'll give you an example. So let's say somebody comes to me and they say, I want to start my own business or I want a job or I want this kind of job, I want more free time or whatever it is that they want or I want a healthier body or I want to find my soulmate, whatever it may be.
[00:24:29] I ask people to come with me with a list of everything that they want. And what my what I do is I listen to that person. And so, for example. Someone will say, I want this job. I want to own a company that's this and there. And I will feel from them, if that's a true or B, what's in the way of that. So, for example, most people like I want the company, I'll use my husband as an example. My husband's in data science and analytics and all this. And I'm like, you want your own company. So if you want your own company, why don't you have it? What are the reasons why you don't have it? Because it's a financial risk. Because I don't have the people to support me because. So here's this list of stuff that you've already put roadblocks up there for all of us, those robots, for all of us entrepreneurs.
[00:25:16] There's a million or a million. Why is for sure.
[00:25:20] And they're logical and they make sense. And you have evidence, right? So, again, like the Wright brothers or the inventors of the Internet, you have to believe it. And then you see it. And that's the part that people don't get is if you don't believe it. You're always going to find the evidence not to believe it. That's why two percent of the people are billionaires. Does it's easy once you start gaining momentum? A great story. One of my husband's friends, he loved guitars. He was a musician. I've heard you've heard of reverb. Yeah. The company Reverb. He started it. Sold it. Three billion dollars, you know. But what he was just following an idea, following his passion, following something, even if it didn't make sense. And that's what's scary to people, is trusting themselves.
[00:26:05] Yeah. You know, everything that you're saying right now as we go through, you know, COVA. This is being recorded during Kovil. There's massive shut downs. It feels like everything you're saying is basically it's inside of you. It's not anything external that's preventing you from doing anything or prohibiting you from taking the right path. That's right. You are basically saying, hey, look, I'm going to help you empower yourself. And if you can do that, you're basically saying you can do anything you want.
[00:26:35] Right. If there's anything I would say, it's that that you can be do or have anything you desire.
[00:26:41] And what what I know is my knowing I can't make people know this is your universe. Chris is your universe. And so it's very simply said that what you put out, you get back. People can get on board with that. People can get on board. In psychology, they say you'll find the one other addict in the room. And that's so you'll be attracted to. Yeah. There's a saying in psychology all the time, like attracts like. Yeah. You know, you're drawn to what's familiar. So if what's familiar is failure and struggle and life is hard and I'm not enough and I'm not good enough.
[00:27:13] The universe source, whatever you are, God, whatever you want to call it, will continue to reflect to you what you believe you are. People treat you the way you believe you deserve to be treated. So that's why not to be rude.
[00:27:29] But morons will become successful because they're like, I'm optimists. And even though you're like you are an idiot, they're like, I'm still the best. So, yeah, they're still getting their millions and their success because they're laser focus. They don't have the doubts. Yeah, they're not the smartest guy. The narcissists. Well, they tend to do well. Because why? Well, they delude themselves. And those interesting that are more sensitive that I'm really worried about.
[00:27:57] What about nice folks who don't want to become narcissists?
[00:28:00] What do we do? The way you do it is you'd be willing to believe in yourself. Look at our child. And when they want something, when my son wants a ramp for his bike, there's no obstacles in that desire. He desires it with pure joy. And as we grow older, we lose that. We immediately go, I can't have it. That's the first thought we have after we'd say we want something. We immediately, like I said, put up those roadblocks. So the first thing is giving yourself permission to want what you want. I always say, how do people meet their spouses? Those people that are looking I just did a workshop on, like, meeting your person and.
[00:28:35] If you ask anybody their story, they're pretty magical because you can't control how you meet your person.
[00:28:41] You need to depend on the sort of cooperative components to fall together. And it's the same with everything. It's the same with work, with money, with career. And, you know, it's funny. I just I have to share this. We lived in Amsterdam and my husband was unhappy at his job and he was sort of recreating some old patterns from his childhood. He was bullied and had some you know, he's the sweetest guy in the world and smart and just like you said, had that sort of soooo much of a nice guy, supersmart. You know, I call my hot nerd. And he was like, well, I'm like, we got to go, but we're going back to the U.S. and he's like, I don't have a job lined up. Mike, you will. He said, But I don't see it. There's no leads. Mike, you will like it.
[00:29:20] No, you will. Six jobs came in in two weeks. Yeah. Like out of nowhere. Things will come in. Yeah. And it's hard to believe that. But once you start playing with this and you start really owning that, I asked people to do a little game with themselves. I'm going to give your listeners a little game to do. All right. Pick three things. Nine benign things. An apple, a butterfly, a bird, something. An image, a lightning bolt, whatever. And say I want to see those three things. This week, I want to see those three things this week. And when you see those three things, you're going to get a really distinct feeling, like goose bumps on the back of your neck or something. And you're going to know that you did that, that you made that thing appear in your experience. And I want people to see that. It sounds insane, but whatever you're getting as a result of you. Not everybody else.
[00:30:11] Yeah. Well, you know what's interesting about this? I think that I'm 44. I grew up in a military family. And if we were to have this conversation 20 years ago, you would be kooky, right?
[00:30:25] Like, I have a way. It sounds insane. I know. But there is a way of talking about it in psychological terms that I can talk to people with a lot of resistance. I'm going there with you, Chris, because, you know, we have a little bit of a background in. Yeah, we know each other and you're very open. But really, it's the same as saying, why do you. I would say watch your wives, friends. Do you see them going after the same type of guy over and over again? Who is the common denominator?
[00:30:51] Yeah. When you're trying to convince people I always use other people, it's so much easier to see other people than yourself. Yeah.
[00:30:57] And I also use the example of when you really wanted something in your life. Yeah. When you really wanted something as a child and either didn't get it or got it or, you know, and I use people's examples. So they really understand that there are laws of the universe and you can either go with them or not. Like I said, you don't have to believe in gravity to stick to the ground.
[00:31:18] Well, you know what's interesting about this, having this conversation, I think where I was going with that is, you know, you've got these apps now. Calm down, calm headspace, right? Yoga, yoga, meditation, breathing. These are non not traditionally the way. Or I'll just speak for men because I'm a guy. Right? That's not the way I grew up.
[00:31:41] It's like soothing. Just self soothing. Shut the fuck up. Go out there. Get at it. Get it done. Yep. Work hard. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
[00:31:50] But honestly, you know, I think all of us work hard, guys and gals. But there is another level mentally and emotionally that you need to take yourself to. If you expect to get the kinds of results that nobody is talking about. Right. Right.
[00:32:07] And it is Harz. It's ha is the magical sort of coöperative components coming together, the right timing, the right people, the right clients or, you know, users or whatever it is that you're looking for.
[00:32:20] The big thing that people miss is, like you said, this.
[00:32:26] Sense of how to make the way I feel matters. The way I feel is telling me what I'm omitting, what I'm putting out. I can't be. I go. You want to know what you're putting out? Look around you. And usually it's a mixed bag. Usually it's a mixed bag of stuff. Right. Because my saying as you continue to blame, your life stays the same. I can blame politics. I can blame this for the way I feel or I can be an activist for things that I believe that's more positive. I mean, I can help animals. I can help the environment. I can help people and in their emotional state.
[00:33:06] And I think that people are so focused on fixing a problem, they don't vibrate, sorted to the solution instead of instead of fixing a problem. You've got to open to the solution. You feel the difference.
[00:33:18] Yeah. Well, I was going to ask you, I feel like maybe this is now I have to look in the mirror when I make statements like this, but I feel like the world is an extremely negative place right now. But might what you might say as well. Chris, you're out. You're looking at the world through your own lens. Maybe you feel like the world is a negative place, but there's people that you just like. So if the world is a negative place. Sure. Based on how you get more evidence of that. How can you operate, though? How do our listeners figure out how to surround themselves with people that aren't caught up in all this bullshit who are on the right track? Right. And we're all trying to do the right thing. We're nice people, right? We're not asking you to start.
[00:34:04] Wouldn't you do this? You start with you and you teach to the clarity of your example. So you I say treat people the way you want to be treated. Be the person that you want to see in the world. These are very simple statements and we've all heard them, but they're true. So my perspective on, let's say Korona, OK?
[00:34:24] I always get hits about things and I don't want to get political.
[00:34:28] But we will a little. OK, little. Little. Damn near impossible. Obviously, I'm from California. It's not I'm super liberal.
[00:34:38] But that being said, it's regardless. Trump gave a gift to this country. And I'll tell you what that gift was. And Corona brings a gift. Trump gained the gift of if you look at shadow work. If you look at healing, Youngie, in therapy, you must put light on the shadow in order to heal it.
[00:34:55] And there was a shadow in this country of greed, of racism, of bigotry, of hate, of rage, of anger that needed to come to the surface.
[00:35:06] This was a trigger Ray activated. What was always there has been it was always a simple Columbus game. Yeah.
[00:35:13] And it was a great time of going, oh, this is a time of healing. This is a break down so we can rebuild. And Korona is a part of that. Korona is making people aware of things that are important to them, people desiring connection more than ever before, people desiring wellness more than ever before. And that desire has powerful energy, has some technological solutions, health and wellness solutions, bringing the world together in a different way. It's changing the perspective of every single person on this planet.
[00:35:46] I love that.
[00:35:47] Yeah, it's hard to see it because we're in the middle of it. It's like you're knee deep in it. You're like WACs. Yeah, this is temporary and there are solutions coming from this.
[00:35:56] I will promise you that are what we've been asking for. Kleiman's around again. General wellness and well-being and why some people are getting it and some people are not. Again, they're doing all these things. I'm not afraid of coronavirus. Personally, I'm not afraid. I send my kids to school like I'm not scared of it. But why? Because I know how the laws of the universe work. Yeah. And I know that first of all, you know why kids aren't getting it or the very few kids that are getting it, aren't getting symptoms or aren't hospitalized. It's so, so, so few is because they're at a different vibration than adults.
[00:36:33] They have less resistance than adults. Now, though, this corona is based on a lot of old fear and anger and survival fear. You see what it's triggering. Sahafi or money or it's it's crumbling. Things that you took for granted, going to the movies, going to see music, sports like that.
[00:36:55] You know what's interesting about that? Now that you just said all of that, that way I've thought about the advances. Even when I walked down in my neighborhood and I think about the streets being shut down, the restaurants being shut down, and now the innovation that's happening in this is silly stuff and simple stuff. They're putting tables where parking spots used to be. Yes. Met like Jesus Christ. Really? Like. Yeah. That's the innovation. OK. So how many years of city council. Right. Old curmudgeons. Do you think they would have had to go through to make that happen? Well, New York City is going to change laws and this is going to.
[00:37:37] Everything's changing. Writing or moving. Crowds are moving. I mean, it's so much is changing on a deep, deep level.
[00:37:44] And that's that's what's hard. We're in the middle of uncomfortable unknown. We've never been here before. We don't know what's coming. And that's what really sets people off. But this is speeding up the inevitable. I'm sorry, but it's like my husband said it perfectly. He's like, this is just amplifying the retail apocalypse that was coming anyway.
[00:38:05] The patient, the patient in this case, our economy, our workforce are our higher educational systems who have been discriminating against it's revealing all that is bringing it all to the lights.
[00:38:20] It's always been there. Always been there.
[00:38:22] And it's what I said I do. And I do free energy updates for the coming month on that. I do on YouTube and on my Web site. And one of the things for September is this sense of.
[00:38:35] You can't.
[00:38:37] Go act from greed and hate and have it not punch you in the face anymore. Like, it just doesn't work anymore. So whenever people like my mom is like, oh, Trump's going to cheat. I'm like, let him the boomerang is gonna hit him in his face. You can't control any of this. I'm powerless over him. What am I in control of? What I sell. Yeah, that's it. What I believe in my truth. That's it. And I can't let him put me in the toilet. Why am I gonna give him that power? You know, and again, some people are for Trump.
[00:39:05] And listen, it's America. You live your best life. It's not my place to tell you what's right for you. But, you know, this is about each individual and resonating with their own truths and being willing to run with that.
[00:39:17] Well, you know what's interesting about what you're saying? No. I mean, the populists obviously as elected, you know, whoever they elect for the House and the Senate and the president. But I want to get back to something that you said earlier. The question I had asked about well, Donna, it feels like it's all negative and stuff like that. So if more of us, literally millions of people, the silent majority that is locking themselves in their homes and acting powerless. If if the silent majority basically started portraying in acting the way they wanted this world to be correct, based on based on your philosophy, it would simply be that way. It doesn't even matter. You wouldn't it wouldn't matter if it's Trump or wouldn't matter if it's Biden. It doesn't matter if it's Pelosi.
[00:40:07] None of that actually matters because there's 300 million people in this country and there's even more people that believe what you're saying and what I'm saying, then I prefer the latter. The question is.
[00:40:21] You know, people feel easily defeated and they feel.
[00:40:26] I'm never, ever gonna get everyone in the world to agree with me. That's that's not my goal. My goal is I really do believe in equality. I believe that everyone has the right to be whoever they choose to be.
[00:40:37] Whether they're LGBTQ, non binary, whatever transgender has your do, your hair, your face, life, religion, do what is right for you.
[00:40:49] That's that people should have the right to listen to their own inner voice and do what's right for them. Because it's my knowing that your inner voice will never harm another, your inner voice will never feel good harming another person or taking something that isn't yours, or being narcissistic, as you say. But being self care is different than narcissism, which is what makes me feel good.
[00:41:14] My husband's like, we got to watch the news. My husband works for CNN, so I. I can't watch the news now. I want to see. I wanted to see these beautiful stories. I have a hard time watching the news. I can't watch it. For me personally, it's too much for me. I literally can't watch Trump speak. It's I have a visceral.
[00:41:31] I tell. I don't I don't really pick sides because I just kind of think they're all morons. And honestly, this happens in politic politics. They're the worst kind.
[00:41:42] Nobody is. I will say this. Everybody has a good and a bad side. Every person with Biden and Harris, there's a historical thing happening. Is Biden the best person in the world? No. But you look at someone posted this and I thought I was perfect. You got to look at like you're coming out of an abusive relationship and you just need the safe.
[00:42:02] Nice guy for a little while, you know?
[00:42:05] Yeah. He's an old white guy, but he's not a douche bag and he's not here to screw anybody over. And, you know, he isn't. His heart's in the right place. And that's for me. All I look at is where someone's heart. Where's their intention. Yeah. And is he the best guy in the world? No. But his intentions in the right place. He's not making it about him. He knows he can't do it by himself. He's calling in a team of people that don't necessarily aren't. Yes. People to him, which I respect because that takes guts and he's the next best choice for me.
[00:42:39] Trump is Trump, to me, is exact. Is the old toxic male energy that you grew up in?
[00:42:47] And a lot of that soldier of old, my cheese mo. The new man, like I have two boys and I'm raising them to be able to be sensitive and be able to feel their feelings and be compassionate and empathetic and strong and healthy. But resilient isn't. Taking a punch and not crying, that's not resilient. Resilient is being willing to go, hey, that's not OK and walking away from something and being OK. That people don't like you and being OK. That not everybody is a yes man. Yeah. Being confident in yourself as being resilient and not eating people to agree with you.
[00:43:24] And you know what's interesting about that perspective? I've got a son who is eight years old. He'll be nine. You know, he goes to karate, but they don't they don't learn how to fight there. They learn how to avoid these situations. Right. They they learn how, you know, to look out into the future and they learn how to think about what they're supposed to be doing and not using this stuff. I remember the old, I guess, karate kids back. I had no idea. I loved Karate Kid. Ralph. Ralph March. You and the other guys started a dojo. I just saw something on Netflix about it last night. I'm like, oh, God, here we go again. Because that was totally our generation. Definitely. But really, it is about allowing people to transform in is some of the stuff we've been talking about all day, which means the be the person you want the world to be, you know, be emotionally intelligent. Have feelings. Treat people with respect. Like you don't have to have everything, all the talk. Try to figure out a way to be satisfied.
[00:44:28] For Christ, the word that you just said is the perfect word. I always say the perfect state of being is I'm satisfied where I am, but I'm excited for more because you're never gonna get it done once you get the big house and the big job is gonna be more and there's gonna be something else. There's always some.
[00:44:43] Why is it so hard to be satisfied?
[00:44:45] Because we're not taught that. Like, for example, you know, how many people would let's say you have your wife and kids. I have so many clients that are trying to get pregnant or trying to meet their person that might have great careers and trying to get money or some people that have none of those things. And it's really the biggest practice that I tell people is appreciation and gratitude. And it sounds so remedial, but it's been scientifically proven that cognitive behavioral therapy, which is based on not what you're looking at, but your perception of what you're looking at. What am I thinking about, what I'm looking at vs. what is actually happening if I have a flat tire. And I this is why people of faith are proven to be happier people, because they go it's all happening for a reason.
[00:45:27] It's all happening for me instead of, oh, I got to play this kind of let it go. Oh, you don't sweat the small stuff.
[00:45:33] Look, I'm not trying to control every single outcome to every situation, whether it's elections or whether it's Ross who's a dickhead. Right. It's like it just your boss is a dickhead, for example, that I would have to look in the mirror for that one.
[00:45:50] The first question is, where is this feeling familiar? Where is this relationship familiar? I'm not in my power. I don't know, like I can speak up. I'm walking on eggshells. He's criticizing me. She's criticizing me. Whatever it is, those are things I'm always saying. That's what I help people look at, is where what's their part in the dynamic? Because you can't be in a dynamic with being one side at that time, Amik, whatever that dynamic is, whether it's poverty or an aggressive issue or whatever it is, you have a part. And once you own that part, you have more control of how what's happening around you, like with your kids as a mother, if I have a tantrum every time my kids have a tantrum, we're in trouble. I need to hold my balance while the chaos is happening. And that's the skill thing. Your balance and going. All right. Show me the next step.
[00:46:43] That's my. That's so simple. But it's so hard. It's so simple. The things that you're saying are so simple, but they're just so goddamn hard. Right. Because your kids have a way to really piss you off and they know how to do it.
[00:46:54] Those parents I'm telling you, being a parent is the hardest thing I've ever done. Like my friends look at me, they don't have kids. They're like, if you can't do it, I don't know who can.
[00:47:01] I don't like. Well, I can.
[00:47:04] I just the biggest thing with kids is mirroring. Like, hey, I was really angry. I didn't mean I yelled at you and that did not feel good. And that was on me. That was my choice. I made a bad choice. I talk a lot about choice because shame is a big thing for kids, like, yeah, you did something wrong. Therefore, your bad. And I don't treat that. So for me, it's you made a bad choice. What can we do better next time?
[00:47:28] In some societies, that's like their culture and that's how they control and that's what they promote growing up. And in a very difficult thing, we didn't have real parents.
[00:47:38] I'm a latchkey kid right now. We had no key. My mom was in her 20s. I was out like, you know, every culture is different. But for me, I learned I'm very structured and controlled as a result. So for me, this work is I have to do this because I'm an eight type personality and a control freak due to the chaos of my childhood.
[00:47:58] I had this need to contain and control. So for me, this work has helped me create the life that I. Now, even down to aging like you're looking at me. We're the same age.
[00:48:11] And I'm like I'm a be like Jaylo. I going age. It's like anything I want to love and take care of myself. I want to feel great about my body just because I'm forty and I had two kids doesn't mean I can't still be hot or whatever, you know.
[00:48:24] Those are the things all of those things matter because they're all about how you treat yourself. So I love myself enough to go, hey, I want to feel good about myself. I want to look good. I want to feel good, you know. Yeah. And it's those type of things that we want it all. We want to feel healthy. We want loving relationships. We want to be thriving and abundant. And you can have all those things, but you can't be focused on what's wrong and complaining and have those things.
[00:48:49] Yeah. You know what's interesting? I want to get I want to get over to the founders and entrepreneurs a little bit, share in some of the things that I hear you saying are, you know, I hear words like maybe fear or some downlow self-doubt. Being an imposter, as you think about your clients, I'll call him clients. I don't know Cherryholmes so ideal. I call them client. I know you've got a radio show you do like lots of lots lotta like coaching and help with work shots of people and workshops. And then you've also got your your kind of clients. Clients who are. I do privates. Yes. Hardcore founders, entrepreneurs. People that probably wake up at two thirty a.m. again at 4:00. Right.
[00:49:34] They I give people things to do because those people like something concrete. Yeah. They're like guys something to do.
[00:49:41] That's what I want to, that's where I want to talk about a little bit is what are some of the things you hear from them, because what are some of the things you hear from them and then what are some of the things you prescribe? Because these shows, these podcasts, I can tell you for sure that podcasting has helped me just by listening to other people. And then you're like, oh, OK, I'm not alone. So what is it? Next time someone wakes up and they're like, oh, I'm going to listen and stutter showdown. Hopefully they do. And Nadia says, these are the two or three things I hear all the time from you guys. Here's what we and gals, here's what you need to do.
[00:50:18] Yeah. So there's three main things. Ironically, you just said three. The main first thing is anxiety. Just low grade, basic anxiety. Hornstein anxiety. Yeah, it's. And it can be low grade and it can be high grade. And you've probably gotten so most men and I'm going to generalize women to generalize because I think a lot of your group are male dominant here. Is this sort of anxiety that you've made your new normal? And so the first step is acknowledging. Every time it's like you, I use the example of someone who wants to lose weight. How many times a day start becoming the observer to yourself? How many times a day do you worry about money? Do you worry about some guy falling through? Do you ignore somebody because you have to do an e-mail right away because the anxiety is bigger than needing to connect with somebody like a thousand.
[00:51:06] Too much. That's right. So, you know, you see this. It's like basically like, oh, I can't talk to my kid because I have to get this done.
[00:51:12] You know, there's this it's it doesn't feel good. The regular thing is anxiety. Number one, anxiety. Number two, lack of sleep, which goes along with anxiety. OK. Lack of sleep, worry, stress, blah, blah, blah, which goes along with anxiety. They're kind of friends. And the last thing is. I don't see how I can get there. Yeah, that sort of thing going well, I can't see.
[00:51:38] What I can't see how it's going to work out or I don't know, I need this thing and I don't know where it is or there's there's not lack of certainty. OK. Which is, again, connected anxiety. So the first thing is becoming the observer to yourself. And I give people this exercise I like just for a day. Observe yourself as if you're watching another person and watch how where are you? What's your set point? You have to figure out what your set point is. Is my set point. Anxiety is my step and go with the flow. Is my set point relaxed? What's my set point? Figure that out once you figure out your set point. I tell people always answer quick, ask questions that you know the answer to. So people will ask me, when is this going to happen? How is this going to happen? Right. So let's say they want an investment or money to come through. Or more clients or you know, I have a lot of clients that own her own. A lot of real estate that want to sell real estate. You know, how do I call in more people? Yeah. Right. So you look at I'm going to use the House analogy, you first you ask yourself, what do I want?
[00:52:43] You sit down with yourself. It sounds so silly, but guys, nobody does this. And it's a very powerful exercise. What do I want? And why do I want it? Why do I want this thing? Because every single thing you want, every single thing is for one reason, only because you think you'll feel better once you have it now. But then once you have it, there's another thing you need another thing. And so you're never enjoying what you do have. So what do I want? Why do I want it?
[00:53:10] What are the things in my now experience that bring me that feeling of whatever it is, freedom? I feel free when I'm sitting outside and looking at the mountains. I feel free when I'm, you know, what are the things that make you feel free in this moment? Finding the feeling of what you want. And matching it in the now. Does that make sense?
[00:53:29] That makes total sense. So. Then I ask people to do basic meditation sounds again. I've got my husband, my husband has the Khabab.
[00:53:42] I do, too, suffers from anxiety.
[00:53:44] And one minute and 30 seconds of deep breathing in four. Out eight. Because anxiety puts your body in a mind in a state of fight or flight, which means you can't receive intuition. You can't receive insight. You can't be efficient.
[00:54:00] Do you move to your crocodile brain?
[00:54:02] That's right. You're watching a tiger, right? Yeah. And and everything else is shut down except for the bait. Bare minimum. Right. Know you're inefficient. You're slow.
[00:54:11] Things aren't done as quickly. So I tell people I go before you start anything. One minute and 30 seconds. In four. Out eight calms the nervous system. It just takes one minute. Kids do that breathing first thing in the morning. When you first wake up. How do I want today to go? One of my favorite things I do every day is call it intention setting. Set an intention when you before you became a father, before you became a husband, you set an intention of the kind of father you wanted to be, the kind of husband you wanted to be. Those things are important when you start a company. What's your intention with your company? Because that's what's going to be the foundation of what you build on that company. Yeah, it's my intention to be of service. So, for example, if you're selling real estate, my intention is to be a win win where people are giving me money and they're excited what they're getting. And everybody feels good about the interaction. And what do I really want to put out there? I want to win. Win, win. Win is one of my favorite things to put out there because I think everybody really wants that.
[00:55:08] Yeah, well, it sounds cliche, but it's true. And I mean, I can tell you from personal experience, I don't think any of us started our own businesses to be stressed out, short of breath by anxiety, driv ridden and having, you know, jerks run our life. So. Right. I mean, if you're if you guys aren't doing what Nardy is talking about, I know I'm going to get better at this. But if you're not doing that, you're going to wind up with a lot of anxiety, a lot of stress, and you're going to hate what you're doing.
[00:55:40] Right. Bottom line is you don't feel empowered. And that's why I use that word, because every negative emotion, the basis of it, whether you look at the protests or the riots, it's I feel powerless now. Negative emotion comes out of feeling powerless, which is an illusion. So your power, you want to get your power back and going, what can I control? Which is the way I feel right now in this moment. That's why the power of now. I mean, you've heard this from all these different teachers for agreements. You know, there's all these little books out.
[00:56:12] Love the four agreements. I love the four agreements.
[00:56:14] It's the saying the same thing. It's nine isn't brain surgery. It's. But it does. It's like exercising. Once you start doing it, you're going to realize how much better you feel and that things start going smoother. I tell people you can change your life in 30 days. Your whole life can change in 30 days with small practices like this. Yeah, I've seen it over and over and over again.
[00:56:35] Yeah, it's micro habits. You know, one percent improvements. You know, single day was building momentum on something.
[00:56:45] Once you start going to the gym, you want to go to the gym more. And now you work out the more you want healthier foods because you're feeling better and you're not craving the crap, you know. So one thing gains momentum to the other and things start to happen. And I usually say takes about 30 days to change a habit.
[00:57:03] Twenty four on the lower end and it takes 17 seconds of focus, 17 seconds of focus to shift where you are. So you could watch. That's why I don't watch any scary movies or anything. 17 seconds. That's all it takes is to shift you into a new space so you can use that for your advantage or not.
[00:57:24] Yeah, it's super interesting. Well, I feel like this has been super helpful. We could go on forever. It's given us the horn of advice. But I am going to ask you one more question, since you've got, you know. Twenty five years of experience dealing with people, probably more than that if you count your life back in a solid 20 years.
[00:57:46] I would say seven years.
[00:57:47] So I'm going back to. Well, we'll give you like thirty five. We'll take you back to twelve. OK. Thirty three. But I think that, you know, the last question is, if you had to leave us, leave our listeners with anyone, anything that could kind of hang their hat on. Based on all your experience with all these folks, well, what would you leave us with here?
[00:58:13] You came here to do something. And if you're not feeling satisfied, you haven't done it yet and you're not running out of time. There's plenty of time and everything's working out. And even though it may not look like it, everything is happening for you. Not to you. And every single setback you've had in your whole life is taking you. Where you want to go is clarity. And if you think about your wife, every relationship you had before her brought you to her. And it's the same with my husband and I. You know, if I hadn't figured out all the stuff I needed to figure out. So also, you're going to see that those of you there are a little bit older. We're a different generation. People are now starting businesses in their 50s because they're figuring out who they are and they're gaining their confidence. So don't worry about your age and don't worry about the timing. Just care about what you want and give yourself permission to want it.
[00:59:10] Yeah, I love that. I love that. Well, Nadia, this has been great. Everyone, it's Nadia Angelini, the German and Italian. I don't know if he's still he's still speak the language fief out of the V.A.. Oh, I think it's an amazing Nadia’s practice – Intiuation by Nadia. She's also got a radio show. We're gonna put all that in the show notes. She helps promote personal growth and empowerment. Right. We got to address both the personal and professional obstacles. So if you want to learn more, we'll have a page up for you, Nadia. And, you know, I hope people reach out. And I know you've got some workshops and stuff. Heck, I might even join a couple of them.
[00:59:50] Yes. I mean, it's like in my cell.
[00:59:55] This all sounds really beautiful.
[00:59:57] It's it's it's small work, but makes big a difference. Well, I really appreciate having your Christmas so much fun and good luck to everybody, OK.
[01:00:06] Take care. Thanks.